Presence is a practice. It asks us to put down the phone, quiet the mental to-do list, and simply be – here and now – with another person. It’s in those moments that we gift each other something priceless: the reassurance that we’re seen, valued, and not alone.
The irony is that presence is the simplest thing to give and the hardest. It requires vulnerability, patience, and an awareness of life’s fleeting nature. But that’s the wisdom aging offers us: the understanding that time, attention, and love are the truest treasures we can share. I credit Chip Conley from the Modern Elder Academy for helping me deepen this understanding. Chip teaches that as we grow older, we gain the capacity to appreciate the beauty of slowing down and showing up fully for ourselves and others. He showed me that presence is not only about who we are for others but also about how we meet ourselves with kindness and awareness.
These thoughts were inspired by a blog Chip wrote about presence being the best holiday gift. His words struck a deep chord, reminding me that the most meaningful gifts we can give during the holidays don’t come wrapped in paper and bows but are found in our ability to truly show up for one another.
Inspired by these lessons, I created something simple yet profound: a Presence Journal. It’s a space where I reflect on the moments when I was truly present and the impact those moments had on my relationships and communication. I write about how it felt to slow down, to listen deeply, to make eye contact, and to offer my undivided attention. Those reflections remind me of the warmth and connection that arise when we’re fully there for each other.
Equally important, I journal about the times I lost presence. I’ve discovered that when I’m triggered – by stress, discomfort, or a reactive emotional state – I lose my ability to stay grounded in the moment. That realization was huge for me. Triggers pull us out of the now and into old patterns of unskillful responses – quick judgments, defensiveness, or tuning out altogether.
And if there’s ever a season full of triggers, it’s the holidays. Family gatherings, expectations, and the emotional undercurrents of this time of year can quickly sweep us away. But what if we approached this season with a different intention? What if presence became our greatest gift?
Another key lesson I’ve learned is this: our ability to be present is a direct result of our state and how we care for ourselves. If we’re under-resourced – lacking sleep, nutritious food, movement, social connection, meditation, or other forms of self-care – it’s far less likely that we’ll have the capacity to be fully present. Presence requires energy and balance. We cannot pour from an empty cup.
So, this holiday season, I invite you to ask yourself: How are you preparing yourself to be present? What steps can you take to care for your mind, body, and spirit so you can show up fully for those you love?
This holiday season, my goal is simple: to stay super present. I want to listen more than I talk, slow down my responses, and notice when I’m not fully there. I want to pause when I feel triggered instead of reacting. Because when I give my loved ones my undivided presence, I’m giving them the gift of being seen, heard, and loved – and I’m giving myself the chance to truly connect.
At the end of the day, it’s not the things we give that endure; it’s the moments we make together. Let this be the season where we create those moments, where we show up for ourselves and each other in the deepest way. Presence is my precious gift this year. What will be yours?
Let’s Plan a Retreat for You and Those Who Matter Most If you’d like to deepen your connection to yourself and others, I’d love to help. Please check out my upcoming nature-based retreats designed to support a deeper and more intentional presence. Or better yet, let’s plan a custom retreat just for you and those you care about most.
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